Carly Lee
Miscarriage, Mental Health + The Church

Shame, stigma and sin are deeply associated with both pregnancy loss and mental health; especially within the church.  Based on my analysis of the repercussions of pregnancy loss on mental health, I will argue that through informed, cross discipline dialogue on pregnancy loss, de-stigmatization and separation from shame and sin can occur on the lay level.  This paper will discuss the repercussions of miscarriage which affect mental health (namely: postpartum depression, anxiety, and attachment issues) which are disenfranchised due to a lack of community and pastoral support and recognition.  In the current American Christian milieu, there are residual tendencies to attach sin, shame, and social stigma onto pregnancy loss and especially onto abortion causing undo stress and alienation onto the bereft.  This negative association toward the bereft is accentuated when organizations like the National Right to Life Committee attack the bereft parents through political campaigns instead of grieving with them, recognizing their loss, and validating their grief.  [SLIDE 8] Through a psychologically informed theology of miscarriage, we as academics and pastors can change the landscape of how we attend to the bereft by recognizing their loss through meaningful discussion, validating their grief through thoughtful acts of kindness and generosity, remembering their child through meaning making rituals, and most of all walking with them through their identity (re)formation. 

Miscarriage, Mental Health + The Church
Carly Lee
ICTG Publishes Joint Post on the Trauma of ...

The Institute of Collective Trauma and Growth published a joint post written by Carly Jane Lee and Joseph Kim Paxton on the trauma of miscarriage. Here is an excerpt below. Visit ICTG.ORG/BLOG to read the full article.

Carly Lee
October: Pregnancy + Infant Loss Awareness Month

Announcing Working Retreat Schedule

I am thrilled to share some of what I have been working on! This retreat has been created for you to enter into a sacred space, share your miscarriage story and listen to others who have walked similar paths, journey through your miscarriage experience, and find meaning and healing through ritual exercises like candle lighting, music, art, and walking the labyrinth. Please, join us this March on Mercer Island for a beautifully restorative event.

Working Retreat Schedule:

- Welcome/orientation/introduction

- Intro Meditation

- Opening the space

- Meaning making through narrative sharing

      Response: Sharing narratives in small groups

- Meaning making through rituals

      Response: ritual demonstration

- Acoustic musical response

-Lunch break: extra time to explore ritual room: candle lighting, prayer room, community journal, and more (I can't give away all the surprises :))

- Worship intro in sanctuary

- Walking the Labyrinth session

- Worship session: Woman trio band

   - When feel lead, exit to the labyrinth to journey in, place stone, journey out and return to worship after (or ritual room if desired)

-Speaker #3: Meaning-making and grief

     Response: grief therapy activity

-Speaker #4: Meaning making through ritual

     Response: candle lighting

-Closing the sacred space

-Closing meditation 

-Closing acoustic music (upon exit)

- Ritual room and courtyard to remain open for a bit if needed

ICTG Publishes Joint Post on Men and Miscarriage

Coauthored with Joseph Kim Paxton, this article looks at miscarriage through the lens of men by identifying five experiences, three struggles, and seven actions you can do to care for men through miscarriage whether you are partner or friend. Research suggests men begin to show signs of grief three to six months after the miscarriage. This is because they are living into their protector provider role during the immediate months after the event and repressing and delaying their own grief. This repression can lead to Complicated Grief (or Unresolved Grief) when men become stuck in the beginning stages of grief instead of journeying through the full spectrum. In addition, a man’s grief from miscarriage is disenfranchised both culturally and relationally. Support groups, networks, family, and friends are more likely to offer support to the woman and much less likely to offer direct support to the male.

One of my goals with this article is to view the concept of miscarriage through a different lens; one which is not my own. A second, equally important goal is to argue that miscarriage is not a women’s issue; miscarriage affects the whole family and community. Miscarriage is disruptive and fracturing not just to the woman, but to all whose lives have been changed by the taste of new life and legacy.

Read the full article here.

The Face of Grief: how rituals guide us through our darkest hours

Heather Stringer is a therapist, artist, and ritual maker. She is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Seattle, WA. She completed her M.A. in Counseling Psychology at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology in 2010. She has since become specialized in trauma and abuse through her work at the Allender Center and performs regular community and individual rituals. She has 2 beautiful babies, Amos and Iona and a loving, brilliant husband, Jay.

Journeying Through My Labyrinth

My personal journey continues to unfold as I embark on another pregnancy. Hopeful, John and I decide to take a different approach and we begin telling select people that we are expecting. Prayers, candles, and hugs abound as we joyfully began reorienting our perspective of what our family dynamic will look like come the arrival of this baby.

Humble Introductions

It is with a humble heart I introduce myself to you.  It is important to know that I am neither a theological nor psychological expert, but am soon to have Master's degrees in both fields.  Instead of expert, I am partner, sojourner, and wrestler of the multifaceted intersection of theology and psychology through the lens of miscarriage.